Sweet Dreams

Thursday night...

I had two amazing dreams. The types of dreams I have never been blessed with before and could never imagine having nor appreciated them before like a could now.

The first was of this sweet little baby growing in my tummy. I think it's fair to say that dreams rarely make sense so the beginning of this dream might have seemed sad. I dreampt that I was ill and I had to go to the hospital and when I awake I had already had our baby. Except... Our baby to our surprise was a little boy. So I asked Nick what he named the baby since I was "unconscious" for the entire thing. He said his name was Oliver. This precious child was definitely not an infant at this point but an out right bouncing baby boy! He had bright red hair and gorgeous blue eyes. Not to forget the happiest little thing I had every laid eyes on. So precious! And so grateful to spend just a moment of time with that happy baby boy. When I woke up it was only 1am so I decided it was in my families best interest if I fell back asleep for a few more hours.

The second dream I ended up having was just what I needed. I had spent the evening earlier going through and clearing out photos from my Mac... Memory issues. So this dream was perfect. It was about my Shane, only he was just a little thing again! Toddler voice and all!! I could have lived in that dream with my sweet precious first born. He was the kindest child. So full of innocence and life. And it made me realize how precious even dirty, loud ten year olds will be 5 years down the road. I am so grateful to have him in my life, to be his mommy. To help (try to) guide him and keep him focused on continuing to be kind, strong and thoughtful. He is so forgiving it humbles me. I wish I had his heart, courage and self esteem. But I also miss that little toddler every day.