Frustrated!!

OMG I am so frustrated right NOW!!!! I just wanted to change this dang template and there is something stuck in the background that just won't go AWAY!! But that doesn't seem enough of a reason to let my mind continue to race with no where to go.
Deep Breath.
Today I am 16 weeks 5days. No bump. No movement. Which is to be expected but I am so unsettled with the lack of visual progress. I keep thinking that if I "looked pregnant" that would mean that everything was ok. I know if I felt the baby I would feel better. But since I can not force these matters I decided to order a doppler instead =P
Our big Ultrasound is on December 7th. I just wish I could let go and relax. But in the back of my mind is the possibility to go in there and find out we have another little baby with no heartbeat. Which is the only reason S has no clue... Well he may have of a clue... That he is a big brother... again...
And I keep telling myself that its ok that we have started to buy things for this little one because if worse comes to worse we can bless another couple with our stockpile. As sad as that sounds. I will not be that rational, obviously. Gah I wish there were more things in a day to do so I wouldn't find myself in this spot. I have seen this baby so many times in my ever so vivid dreams that HE just has to be mine. And at this point its a boy ;) Maybe because that's all I know. I have dreamed we were having a girl at first but the last dream I had weeks ago was of this precious face dressed in blue. 3 more weeks.